How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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