I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
