Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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