I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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