Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
