just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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