is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
