Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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