i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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