i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize