More tranny stories later!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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