That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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