Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
zippers are such a cool invention
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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