how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
