Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
