my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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