I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
