you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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