i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
