i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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