I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
