see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
