I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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