And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
