My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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