i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
