I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
pray to the hookup gods
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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