People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
