She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
