idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
