I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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