I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
