He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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