Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
