Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have aggressive nipples.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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