16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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