Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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