who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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