PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
