The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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