I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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