I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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