Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
