Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
