I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
