Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
