Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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