is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
