omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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We need a shit load of segways right now
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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