Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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