i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize