Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
