I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize