i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
