She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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