So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
