Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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