This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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