Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she looked like the before picture.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
