just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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